Crain's "If I Knew Then" CHRIS PAVARSARIS: FOUNDER, XAPIS STRATEGIES

IF I KNEW THEN...

In this ongoing series, we ask executives, entrepreneurs and business leaders about mistakes that have shaped their business philosophy.

Chris Pavasaris

FOUNDER, XAPIS STRATEGIES

By Laura B. Hayden 

@lbhayden

Background:  

Ten years after punting for the UConn Huskies, Chris Pavasaris has a new game plan: to meld his gridiron experience, post-grad work with the U.S. Senate, and chaplaincy training at Yale Divinity School to improve workplace culture and emotional intelligence. Through Xapis Strategies, he now offers individual and executive coaching, situational consulting and soft skill development, among other services.

The Mistake:

Taking so long to realize that my longtime knack for talking authentically with people could be a means to improving workplace morale and productivity.

I’ve always had what I now call the “gift of grocery store conversation.”  I’ll meet somebody in aisle 10 and leave five minutes later knowing all about their life. Eventually I began to wonder, why does that happen? Why is that interaction going on?

When I played football at UConn I used to run a study group with some of the guys, and we’d ask fellow students and players over to our apartment. It wasn’t like we were always reading in depth. Still, as I look back now, I think it was an opportunity to come to terms with the stretch from being an athlete and also being a student—and balancing what was going on in their lives. I didn’t know it then, but it was an early venue to share the small group coaching Xapis Strategies promotes.

My role on the football team was unique in the sense that I was a punter. So I wasn’t somebody who played every down. I wasn’t somebody who was charged with having this great physical strength, but I was somebody who had to remain calm, had to remain focused, and kind of balance all of those situations that were ongoing. I think that mentality more so was something I was trying to pass on to some of my peers.

I called a colleague from those days a while ago and told him about my idea. When I asked him what he thought, he said, “You always were so good with me, helping me to stay on track and balanced.”

“I did?” I said. “Why didn’t you tell me that five or six years ago?”

When I talked to co-workers at my current job in finance at Global Atlantic, right after Divinity School, I found myself, once again, listening for this meta-narrative, I’ll call it, in the stories they told. And my role became asking questions, and kind of delving into these personal situations. I’d reflect some of that back to the person and afterwards they’d say, “You really helped me work through some things.”

There are going to be challenges at work and in life, but being able to be joyful ... serves not only the person, but their workplace as well.

The Lesson:  

There’s a need in the workplace for “corporate chaplains,” who have an office, like you would see in a hospital, and are there to serve the workers. There already are coaches who are strictly business strategy; there are psychologists who are coaches. For me, the role would necessitate understanding the person’s present and maybe also understanding a bit of their past, though I’m not going to be one who is going to repair past relationships or experiences in the way a therapist would. It’s more like getting the client to learn to live in the present moment, at work.

A lot of employers will say, ”Oh, we have human resources for employees as long as they come and take advantage of it." But my question is, “How can I get to the people who don’t necessarily come to the door for counseling? That is what led me to this model.

Granted my own faith journey and faith life inform a part of what I do, but I’m not proselytizing. I’m not going in with my faith as a leading strategy. My goal isn’t necessarily providing happiness for my co-worker. Instead of happiness I guess I would call it joyfulness. From the theological perspective, joy is not based in feeling good. Joy has a deeper root meaning of gratitude. Joy in the present. You’re not looking for a hedonistic outcome, which I associate sometimes with happiness. Your life is going to have ups and downs. There are going to be challenges at work and in life, but being able to be joyful by having that steady state of wholeness (as implied in Xapis, the Greek word for grace) serves not only the person, but their workplace as well.

Follow Xapis Strategies on Twitter at @xapisstrategies

​Photo by Gerry Dyer

Crain's "If I Knew Then " JOHN ROCHE: AUTHOR AND PROFESSOR, WESTERN CONNECTICUT STATE UNIVERSITY

IF I KNEW THEN...

In this ongoing series, we ask executives, entrepreneurs and business leaders about mistakes that have shaped their business philosophy.

John Roche

AUTHOR AND PROFESSOR, WESTERN CONNECTICUT STATE UNIVERSITY

By Laura B. Hayden 

@lbhayden

MEDIAEDUCATION

Background:  

John Roche is an award-winning journalist who teaches at Western Connecticut State University. His first novel, "Bronx Bound," was published in 2015.

The Mistake: 

I used to think real talent was all I needed to become a successful writer. Bull! Sheer talent doesn’t do it. It’s a falsehood that talent is enough.

I’m a huge Derek Jeter fan. I had the opportunity to cover Jeter when I was a newspaper reporter, when he spoke to kids at two events in the Bronx. I’ll never forget when somebody asked him, “What is the best advice you ever got?” and he said, “That’s an easy one. My father told me that there will always be somebody more talented than you, but there should never be anybody working harder than you.” I still get goosebumps when I think back to Jeter saying that.

His message might have been lost on the fourth graders but hearing it changed my life. I thought, here’s a guy who at that point had already won three World Series Championships. He had already won Rookie of the Year, World Series MVP and All-Star Game MVP.  Yet, he’s talking about how there is always somebody more talented than him.  He explained how in high school he might have been the best but guess what? He went to the state championship and there was somebody better there. Then he went to college, then to the minor leagues, and then he got to the Yankees. And he wasn’t even the best when he got to the Yankees. But he brought his father’s advice with him.

So I starting thinking to myself, “You know what? I’ve been given this talent,” just like everyone else in this writing program. We are all given that writing talent. But the talent’s not enough. Nobody’s going to come in and say to any of us, “My God, you have this aura of talent about you. What can I do for you?” No. You need to work at it. You really need to respect your own talent. It’s not being boastful. It’s not patting yourself on the back.

There will always be somebody more talented than you, but there should never be anybody working harder than you.

The Lesson: 

Maybe I’m overgeneralizing, talking about all writers, but I know for me, I sometimes get into that artist idea. I think that I have to be in the right frame of mind to write. That the atmosphere has to be perfect; the Muse has to strike. But sometimes you just need to look at yourself like a carpenter. A carpenter never says “You know what, I’ve got to refinish that bedroom today, but I’m not in the mood. I just don’t feel like doing it.” They might feel that way but they go and do it anyway.

I had to learn how to respect my own talent enough to work really hard at it. The key to a successful writing experience is simply writing the best you can. I may look at a classroom of writers and think I know who the single-most talented writer is. But if I had to choose who will work hardest at becoming a better writer, I'd like to able to call it a tie by choosing all of them. Think about what Jeter said—there’s always going to be someone more talented than you, but there should never be anybody who works harder.

Photo courtesy of John Roche.

Follow John Roche on twitter at @johnrochewrite.